It is in a new city 2 hours from where our old home was. I cry every day. Thank you for sharing your story. Like you, my Dad also died of Cancer in , and since then the house has become a shrine…..
I honestly feel scared to close my eyes because this is the last night in my home…. I keep reminding myself that the move is a good thing…. I thought I was being realky ridiculous…..
My father recently passed away at 83 years of age due to natural causes. He and my mother lived in our family home over 50 years. It was such a place of comfort and peace for my brother and I growing up. We would also go there for the same in our adult years after marrying and buying homes of our own.
They always had good food and comfortable bedding to refresh us. My mother loved to decorate and rearrange the furniture in the home and made many crafts to fill it with love. My father proudly maintained the structure and had a real sense of pride in home ownership. As she went down, so did the house and so did my dad. The house became a stressful, sad place where we watched my dad nearly lose his mind trying to care for such a sick patient all alone. He was valiant and faithful to her but greatly out weighed by her disease.
During the last months of her life the house was infested with bed bugs. We had a few home health providers that visited many other homes that must have brought them in. This was devastating. Not only was it terribly upsetting to know my sweet hard working, super tidy parents were living in a bug infested house despite numerous treatments by pest companies but it was also a devastating death blow to the security this home once provided.
My father died peacefully in this house 7 months after my Mom died. My Family cleaned the entire contents of the house out in the immediate 4 days following my fathers death. It was so painful to see a lifetime disassembled in less than a week. It was so saddening to feel afraid of bug contamination everytime I left the house that week having to strip my clothing to be washed before entering my friends home.
It was a wonderful, loving and safe family home for 50 plus years and all of it was gone in just a few days time. Sure we all got momentous from the house but the comfort it provided died along with my parents.
How I would have loved to have kept the house as it was for a year or so after their deaths to gradually let go but due to the infestation it had to be done abruptly and thoroughly. Who knew the house was be missed as much as my parents. How saddened I am to know that the place of refuge I called home will never be again.
How sad to lose both parents and such a sentimental home place in under 8 months. I grieve the lose of them all yet know that what they were prepared me for this day. Thank you Mom and Dad and thank you 4 Robin Lane. You will all be dearly missed and remembered fondly. Thought it was just me….. I love it here. All of it…and ive spent the last 6 months lying to myself and others when saying that it was time to move on.
I want to stay here. This is where I am today. I wanted to move closer to my kids and grandkids, 3 hrs away. I looked at a house near my kids and without counting the cost, put an offer on it and put my house up for sale.
I got an offer on it the first week it was listed which shocked me. I had no idea it would sale so quickly! The closing on my house where I have lived for 30 yrs is in 2 weeks and I am physically sick about it.
Like you, I love my house and my life here. My husband and I completely gutted it and remodeled it over the yrs. Now I have to find work in an area I know very little about. I just want to stay here and live out the rest of my days here. But it is too late for that. I hope this feeling will pass with time.
I came across this as I was looking at the home I grew up in. From the time I was four until eighteen, I lived in the same house. I grew up there, lived there, died one hundred times there, learned about life there. I went to college and by the time I was supposed to come home for Christmas break, my mom had sold the home I grew up in. I just plain, flat out drank my way through it.
I am now almost 60 years old and am still reeling from the things taken from me. Was it just a house? It was my life. Parents, please explain to your college-age children, if you plan on selling the house they grew up in, the whys and what-fors. With all the changes they are going through, they still need someplace to call HOME. I never had a home again until I bought my own.
I never realized the impact this had on me until I started searching for info on that particular property. Blessings to all.
Thank you all for sharing the emotions you have experienced in saying good bye to a family home. It is comforting to know that the feelings of loss are acknowledged by others. I have been crying. It is sold and I as the guardian of it these last 7 months since my dad died, will be moving out in the next two weeks. The cats will have to go with me, the new owner lady is allergic.
I have appreciated theses Halcyon days and being able to soak in the ambiance even if most of the rooms are empty. I feel it has become part of the family. I have an understanding and a sensitivity now to just how emotionally wrenching it can be letting it go to strangers. But at least I had a choice in who would take it over. It makes me proud when people tell me the house has good vibes. I know the light and the mature trees around it are powerful and I hope that the children who move in will feel comfort, joy, and love as I did.
I had to ask my co worker in hospice to give me a special prayer that I could say several times a day to help me when I was so anxious and sad. Give me peace that you are watching over me and give me wisdom. Open and close doors according to your plans as I trust in You. So this helped and I continue to use it.
Oh house what an Ode I can give of thee. My father died this year and we sold the home that he and my mother purchased when I was a baby, fifty years ago. When we sold it, we knew that the buyers would probably tear it down and rebuild.
But knowing what would likely happen and actually seeing it happen are two different things. When I took a detour to drive by the house two weeks ago, I was stunned to see a dirt lot with a chain link fence around it.
Every bit of the house, along with its landscape and hardscape, was gone. It was just a dirt lot. I wrote a letter to the house last night, and that seemed to help a little. Even without the house, the memories are safe for now. I worked hard at a low paying job all my life and never had much, I was the old maid of the family.
My both parents and I lived together and between all of us we scraped up enough money to buy us a little house n We were all very happy, comfortable and content. I worked very hard over time to earn extra income to renovate the place and had it made into my dream home.
My mother died suddenly in which just left Dad and myself and we decided we would carry on just the two of us. Unfortunately my father started drinking heavily at the age of 80 and I had no control over what he did because my brother was taking him the alcohol when I was not home.
It got bad enough that he almost burned the house down numerous times when I was at work and also he was stumbling around the streets in a drunken haze.
I begged my brother to stop bringing the booze but he would not, he thought what he was doing was funny. The house sold and my brother ended up taking Dad he drank himself to death within a year.
My house sold to a co worker which I thought at the time was great, knowing that I was leaving it to people who would take good care or it.
It turned out to be terrible mistake as they let it go down hill. I cant even go down the street even now. I had to walk away from a fantastic home, awesome neighbors, and all the happiness that owning my own place brought me…all because of a drunk. That was in and I still cry almost every day for my home. I try not to think about it but when I shut my eyes at night there I am in that house, with mom and dad in our happier times.
Most times I dream that they want to sell the place from under me…which of course would never have happened. And I wake up crying my eyes out. Even today I am not one bit more over the loss than I was the day I left. I have moved on in my life, gotten married, started a new job ,have a new house but can not get over this. The emotional attachment is just not there to my new home.
I have no family now, lost all my close friends when I moved so I am alone. All I do is cry and pray…. I know it was just a building but it was my world and nothing will ever take its place.
I am so sorry for your loss. There is much here to struggle with and I can understand why it would be difficult to move forward.
Is your new spouse able to talk with you about these painful times and memories? I know it sounded like finances were tough before, but does your new job offer insurance? If so, I would highly recommend asking the insurance rep if there is an in-network counselor or therapist in your area you could see. Working through issues like this takes a long time and usually a lot of help.
Five weeks ago my 83 year old mother, husband, one and a half year old son and I were forced out of my childhood home due to foreclosure. My mother was a victim of a predatory loan. My father built our home 43 years ago and died in it 38 years ago. My brother and I were raised in the home and since I remained there after getting married am particularly affected by what has happened. For six years we fought to stay in our home and were so hopeful all our efforts to do so were going to allow us to do just that.
My mother, brother and I are devastated over the loss of our home that was built by my father who cared so much for his family. I am greatful my son is not old enough to really grasp what has happened. I have been struggling every day since the move. We have been fortunate to be taken in by family until we get back on our feet again but there truly is no place like home and we are grieving. It was a safe haven built lovingly by my father for his family.
I am hopeful that in time things will get better for us but I know my thoughts will forever be with the house I grew up in that my wonderful father built with us in mind. Thank you so much, Daddy. I love you. Love to you all Diana xxx. I found this blog today in my search for how to deal with a conflict in our family.
We moved into our childhood home in It was built for us. All us kids had lived in different places, but the house in SoCal was a custom build at the end of a new development so we pretty much grew up there. Dad passed from cancer in and mom passed from cancer six months later. It was so hard to lose them both so fast. We did okay with dividing up the treasures and deciding what to donate.
We began renting the house a couple of months after the final clean out and we set up a partnership to manage it for a few years. I never thought we would keep the house forever.
Dad kept it in great shape. We now have conflict. My sister and I are ready to sell. My brother is not. He ties the house to mom and dad in such an emotional way that the thought of selling it to someone else is too much for him.
Other people have lived there for years, but really letting go and selling it is another issue entirely. I understand his grief and losing the house will pain me, just not as much as him. I have other things of theirs I cherish.
I have tons of pictures. I wear a locket which contains their images. But for my brother, losing the house is like losing them again. He wanted to buy it just to keep but could not afford it and so now we will sell. I just fear the damage to the relationship if I cannot come up with the right words to say that I hear him and I acknowledge his grief, but it is time to move from the building and focus on the blessings….
I am a Realtor and I have always thought not shared with many to not seem crazy that homes have life to them. There is a feeling and the furnishings and pictures and upgrades or lack there of give off a story. Lives were lived there and they really speak to me. There are so many stories and memories this shelter holds of just a few or of many.
Today I had a seller hand me the keys to his family home of over 70 years. As I was pulling my car out, he hurried towards my car and I on rolled the window. He then, just walked away. I was left extremely moved and emotional. I searched Google tonight looking for some encouragement for him to send in a card.
So glad I came across this forum. I know your words will help him. Thank you everyone and Edward thanks you too. I felt a little crazy when I searched grieving loss of a house. I feel so sad to move from our beautiful home. I feel so sad and cry when I hear or say Santa Clara Dr. I come from a toxic family situation, and due to a volcanic and abusive scene at Christmas, I have left my home of almost 17 years. It still is. The sad thing is, I very well could return.
But, a foul bout of unfair insults and untruths designed to shame me were spat for the thousandth time this Christmas…and for the first time in my very passive life, I stood up for myself and packed a bag right then and there. I cry often. I miss the sense of sacredness in there. Thank you, Kelli! My parents divorced two years ago and the house my brother and I grew up with is a few months away from being sold. Little things too, like an ugly dish towel… haha. I had no idea that this would hit me so hard.
And when you have a family of your own, your parents would still be there and you can reminiscence with your own kids. Wow, so glad came upon this read. I still live near my childhood home where I lived for 22 years and then visited parents for the next 22 until my mother moved to another state with my brother in I still go to church in that same city so I drive past this house and my old schools all the time. Recently I drove down the streets where I always rode my bike and eventually past the house and was suddenly crying like a baby, filled with memories of so many things.
Talk about your life flashing before your eyes. All my former neighbors, fun family times and holidays, even memories that my own children remember of being at Grandma and Grandpas home flashed through my mind.
I never had this happen before. I actually went on line to a realtor and discovered it sold again on and they had pics of it still on the site. The only real change was a few kitchen updates and different window treatments. Boy those were the good days. Faith, family and good neighborhood friends.
Thankful to find this tonight. I sold the home I grew up in a little over a year ago. I lived in the house after my parents died but it being a large property, having a pool, barn etc became too much upkeep for me.
My precious home that was built in kept me on my toes. So today I drove away to my new home two miles away. I love my new home but I will forever miss my childhood sanctuary from the outside world. I feel guilt, relief, sadness and hope. I understand and relate to all of you who have commented. Thank you for easing my pain tonight. I wish you all peace and love. Thank you for this article. I take comfort in knowing others understand how this feels. My grandmother passed. The land her home was on was in our family for years.
My soul and those of my dearly departed are tied to it. This is where my father was born and where he died after moving in to care for her.
Its where she died as well. This house, just like the article states never let us down. A goodbye is a moment for forgiveness, kindness, and intimacy, and is most importantly a time to acknowledge what was, what is, and what will be. The selected poems speak to every imaginable situation—from saying goodbye to a lover, a daughter, a home, even a younger self—and fit together into a volume that is universally touching.
His selected poems and accompanying essays are neither morbid nor trite, simply a dignified and beautiful expression of the most human emotions. Housden was born in England and now lives in San Francisco.
We would encourage you and your family to discuss these options before your pet is put to sleep, and to let your vet know. However, in some cases the euthanasia may have occurred after an accident and you will need more time to make this decision. It is possible for us to keep your pet for a short time afterwards, to give you and your family time to reflect before making a decision. Coping with the loss Everyone deals with grief in different ways.
When grieving for a much-loved pet, you or other members of your family may experience a range of emotions from shock, denial, disbelief and, very often, guilt. Should you wish to talk to anyone at your Veterinary surgery, we can offer support and advice. If, after reading these pages, there are still facts you would like to know, we will be more than happy to help. Please contact us at the surgery. The following organisations and articles can provide further information, help and support:.
My Family Vets - Helping children understand pet loss. The Blue Cross The Blue Cross also offer a bereavement support line if you would like to talk to someone.
The number is The sites above also offer special books that have been written to help your children understand the loss of their pets. We use cookies on our website to make it easier for you to use. Read more. Our website uses cookies to distinguish you from other users of our website. This helps us to provide you with a good experience when you browser our website and also allows us to improve our website. See our cookie policy. We use 3 different types of cookies on our website.
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